Tuesday, August 1, 2017

The Time That 2017 Wasn't My Year...

You know how at the beginning of every year, right at 12:01a.m. when the fireworks are going off, and you feel a little invincible from the amount of bubbly you've had, usually everyone says "This is going to be my year! I can feel it! It's going to be a great year...best one yet!"
Well, that's almost how I started my year, but not quite.
Mine started off with fireworks with my mom and brother, some wine, and cigars. But my "This is going to be my year..." was actually a sad one. You see just 3 days prior to this night everything was phenomenal. Work was great, though repetitive and a little boring, my friends were great, my family was doing well, and I was planning on sharing a midnight kiss with someone who had come to mean the world to me. Then 2 days before New Year's Eve things changed, not in every way...just one...but that seemed to throw off everything else. The person I had been seeing and I called things off due to personal reasons...not anything bad that had happened between us...and that actually made it suck the most. It's easy when you catch someone in a terrible lie or they cheat on you to say "boy bye!" and z snap your way out of their life. And by easy I don't mean it doesn't still hurt. I just mean it's an actual reason. Not someone looking at their life and deciding you shouldn't be in it that way for a while because they need to sort some things out.

Fast forward a month, I was getting over my heartache, but work was getting difficult. I was having to deal with a lot from some people and it was setting my anxiety on high almost all the time. And to top that off I wasn't feeling well but I couldn't pinpoint what was wrong.
Fast forward a few more weeks and I was full blown sick. I even went to the ER at one point because I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something because my throat was swelling up and I couldn't breathe. They told me I only had a sore throat and I caused myself to have an anxiety attack.
Fast forward to about March, I was in bed all the time, completely exhausted. After my 8 hour shifts at work I would be so wiped out all I would do when I got home was eat a little something and crawl in bed. Even after getting 10-12 hours of restless sleep most nights I would still wake up more tired than I was when I went to sleep. My throat would swell at the weirdest of times and I would lose my breath even when I wasn't doing anything. I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared and many nights cried myself to sleep thinking I was probably dying (what up, anxiety attacks?!).
I went to my personal doctor and he would put me on antibiotics or steroids...and steroids would just make everything worse. They made me moody and cry at everything.
Eventually, I took matters into my own hands and picked an allergist to go and see to check if I was having a reaction to something. He was a Godsend and is totally and completely one of my favorite people on the planet. He helped me and put more time into what was going on with me than the prior 3 doctors I'd seen. Unfortunately, even though he helped, we still didn't figure out what was going on.

Enter my chiropractor (who, at the time, was just my mom's chiropractor). She is also a nutritionist extraordinaire and decided to run my blood test in one of her nutrition programs and it turned out I was likely sick with an autoimmune disease, which she said might be caused from a liver blockage (fun fact: your liver has over 500 functions so if it gets outta whack, so does your whole body). All of your body is connected and (kinda like a car) if one part stops functioning properly the rest of it is effected. She put me on a strict diet and a monitored cleanse (I will be writing a post later about the benefits of a doctor monitored cleanse and the dangers of doing a store bought at home cleanse) which consisted of cutting out anything that could stress my liver out (including coffee...what the hell are you doing to me body?!?), drinking an awful shake twice a day to help heal my stomach and intestines, and taking about 50+ supplements a day (I'm not kidding with that number). She is a strong believer in using your body to heal itself with proper diet, nutrition, and supplements. I also strongly believe in this. It was a struggle for months. There were days I would feel so much better and have SOO much energy finally that I thought everything was going to be better. Then a day or so later I wouldn't be able to get out of bed because of how tired I was again or I would feel like I wanted to throw up constantly...which I was never sure if that was from that shakes, supplements, or just a symptom. It didn't really matter though...I still felt awful.
Silver Lining: There were days I finally had some energy back and I didn't feel like staying in bed all the time. I was able to actually spend time with my best friend and nephew again and that filled my soul so much.

Most nights I would fall asleep begging God to just give me answers so I could start to get my body back on track. I would not pray for anything less than full healing. My God is a God of miracles and divine power so I was going to pray big prayers. Then my faith started to falter...I started praying smaller prayers. "God...I don't even care if I'm healed at this point. I just want answers." Day after day, sign after sign, it was made clear to me that I would get better but I needed to have faith...that it would take some time. But there was always this thought in my mind that I was being selfish for what I was asking for or that I was praying for the wrong thing. Verses kept popping up or things I would see would seem like signs or promises...so I started to pray big again.
Last week my mom went to the doctor because of the sickness she'd been experiencing and she was diagnosed (after several tests) with Celiac disease...which is hereditary, also an autoimmune disease. Her doctor now wants me to come and have the same tests done, since without even seeing me (just with my mom explaining my symptoms) they believe I have it, as well. I'm finally getting somewhere. I'm finally getting closer to having answers. I'm finally getting back to having energy to do things...heck, maybe I'll even be able to go back to the gym sometime soon (I love working out and I miss it SOOO friggin much). My mom is having to readjust her entire life with hardly an notice, and in turn we are trying to help and readjust ours too to make it easier on her. I may find out that I have to make the same changes for my own health and not just as a support for her.

It's the first of August and this year didn't turn out anything like I planned it would. I lost many months of my life to my bed and Netflix, I missed out on many adventures, I've spent more money on doctors visits than I even want to think about...2017 was not at all my year. But there is still time to turn it around, and I've actually had some really good things happen this year.
I started taking nutritional classes to further my knowledge and to be able to help my family, I started my own online business (www.justsojess.com what up shameless business plug!), I've gotten some priorities straight, I've learned the value of time well spent, I've grown in my relationship with God and my faith, and I found out who was really on my side. My life needed some adjusting and I was ignoring that. The universe has a way of getting your attention when you're trying to pretend you don't hear or see things.

SO. If you made it this far through ALL of that, first:I want to give you an internet high five. Second:I want to tell you the purpose of this blog now.
It's to share with you the things that I come across that are healthy and healing, but also delicious. Because in case y'all didn't know, your girl LOVES food. I'm one of those people who knows the adage of "eat to live don't live to eat" but there are days where I live for food...so it's gotta taste good. Also depending on what my doctors clear me for, I'll be updating you on actively living with an autoimmune disease. I travel, I work out, I go on mission trips...I'm not letting something like this stop me from all of that. So I'll be sharing what I find makes all that easier for me. So healthy living, exercise and staying active...what else...OH YEAH! And beauty. I love playing in makeup...always have. And since I have started my own online makeup company there will be posts about tips and tricks for makeup and skincare. My next post will probably be on the company and why I love them and their products so much.

Silver Lining: There is always good with the bad and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. A lot of things this year hurt, but a lot of it was necessary to get me to a better place and to give me that push to get out of my comfortzone and get my life going...we've only got one and I was content with how I was living mine. Not anymore. I will no longer be just living...I will be conquering and thriving. I won't just be talking about taking hold of what this life has to offer...I will actually be going for it(even though going for it kinda scares me...but all great things are on the other side of our comfort zones right?)
So let's see what happens next shall we?

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